Are you Courting A Woman? Take Care! She thinks quite differently from the way you think. Let’s look at a few examples:
1. Men love with their eyes and women love with their ears. There is scientific evidence that indicates a man’s brain produces sex hormones when he sees a beautiful woman. Women react to words, because they are imaginative or tend to be more right brained. How does this impact how you get a ladies phone number?
Rather than say, “Baby, the way you look make me want to call you the minute I leave you,” try the more subtle approach: “I know what I will be thinking while I am driving home tonight. I will be wondering how I let a woman with your laughter and inquisitive mind leave without giving me a way I could see you again. Can I call you this weekend?”
2. When you approach women, lower your voice. A lower voice indicates confidence. Women appreciate conversation, and a man who can present himself intelligently, demonstrating a mind that is philosophical in nature and open to ideas, will usually get her attention.
Your appearance is not as important as your ability to communicate and speak in ways a women needs to hear. You can practice it at home. Play with your voice, from high to low. Think of phrases and topics, which you can discuss with confidence and knowledge. Practice asking for her phone number with an excited higher pitch, and then ask for the ladies phone number in a lower tone, remembering tip #1 while you do.
Women like men who demonstrate wisdom and possess a strong nature, both in body and mind. Prove that you are the strongest, wisest, and the most light-hearted male individual in the room.
3. On first approach, surprise her. When we experience the unexpected, we deviate from our stereotyped behaviour. Women enjoy the slight confusion, the mystery of you, and the feeling of not knowing just how to react. It creates the fluster that blossoms the cheeks and sparkles her eyes.
So a key to remember: Don’t use the standard pick up lines! Take the opportunity and time to prove that you are worth talking to! If you are able to do something extraordinary, you will distinguish yourself from other men.
4. Lead the conversation, don’t make her lead you. Ask questions, and tell about yourself, and be creative! Don’t tell them how good you are but prove that you possess the qualities that every woman is looking for.
5. Breathe in unison, when you match their breathing, it’s very powerful force of seduction. This gives another person sense of security. (we practice this in my workshop – you should join us!)
If all goes well, be sure to ASK for her number, or offer her yours and invite the call.
Your appearance, level of education or financial success – doesn’t matter! Your charisma matters!
Some men are attraction magnets and women are naturally drawn to them, where others find it takes more of an effort. Don’t be fooled! Attraction is not about being “physically attractive.” Often the female magnets are not tall, dark and handsome. It’s not limited to looks – charisma comes from within. Any man can increase his ability to be attractive to women. What makes a man attractive?
Moth to a Light bulb
Roger is an old friend who wasn’t attractive at all. He had squint and his face skin was rough because an accident in childhood. He had no money and dressed poorly. What were his chances of successful dating?
I watched with amazement at the way women gathered around him like a moth around the light. I began asking myself at the time, “what is the magnetic factor, what makes Roger so appealing”? Since then, I have met more men like Roger, who naturally attract women and I began looking for similarities.
The Charisma Essentials
- First of all, these men are very confident charismatic people. They have light vivid personalities who “feel” every day and experience each minute of their lives.
- They are great communicators and talkers. They know the right words that need to be said at the right time, and they know the right moment. They are not afraid to tell the truth and usually have good sense of humour.
- Every time they fall in love – it’s with sincerity and meant to last forever. Those feelings could last only just a few months, or even days, but they are always honest and express their true feelings at the moment.
- They love women, they enjoy being around them. They know how to court and they do this with a confidence and enjoyment.
- They anticipate what makes a woman happy. They behave at this moment like nobody else exists but her!
- They can adapt their love language to communicate to their woman, and these men don’t feel inhibited to tell her ‘I love you.’ To these guys, she is the One, and she is the most loved and desirable person, and it shows!
- When he is together with a woman, he gives her an impression that she is the first woman in his life and she is only one. And despite of all life’s experiences and absurdities, she believes him. Why? Because, it feels so good to feel so cherished.
- They are gentlemen. They never tell even those close friends about their triumphs with ladies.
- They are generous with compliments as well as gifts.
- These guys are there when you need them and help to find the best solution to the problem that suits everyone.
Can This Behaviour Be Learned?
Can you learn all this? Absolutely! I have worked with men had some difficulties with women although they were smart, attractive, kind and generous. Women are looking at the whole package. Work with what you have, until you master “Charisma”.
A little more confidence, a few more subtle complements, more attentive listening, intent charming gaze – all this will distinguish you from the crowd and help you to attract desirable women to you.
It will take some effort and practice but it’s worth it!
Are you planning for a great date? Have you been waiting to go out with this guy for months and last week he finally noticed your friendly gestures? Okay, let’s make the best of it. The most important feature you have – over your hip size, breast size or the color of your skin – is your attractiveness. How attractive are you?
I didn’t say how pretty, how lovely, how well built you are, rather how attractive are you from the inside – out?
3 Keys to Attractiveness
How well do you stop thinking, and planning, wondering and daydreaming and literally talking in your head, and simply give full-on attention to and listen?
Men and women love to talk about their favourite subject; their life. It could be the job, hobbies, family, pet, travels etc..
Ask questions about what you begin to understand are important to him/her? For instance, if they suggest that work is really compromising their integrity, or exhausting them you could ask: “What is the payoff for you at your job? What do you enjoy that keeps you there? The key is to listen, and show true interest in the human being in front of you.
Remember, the person you are dating is first of all a valued person with experience and intelligence, who happens to be on a great date with you. Treat them like they are the only person, other than you, in the world for that hour or two.
Show ENTHUSIASM when you talk. Stay on the positive side. Leave your old dates, disappointments, ex- girlfriends or boyfriends out of the picture and talk about what makes you happy, fulfilled, challenged, encouraged, and what you look forward to in the future. (Not marriage!) Let your soul fill with your own excitement, and your eyes and voice and body language will tell you date a wonderful story while you speak.
Smile! In almost any situation a smile will take you a long way. It’s a must if you want to have great date.
Dates would like to be assured of your approval and acceptance. We all need approval. It’ a warm, positive message you’re sending them when you smile.
No amount of make-up, botox, or skin care can do what a SMILE can do for you.
Smiling is attractive and makes you irresistible. Men are attracted to smiling or laughing females, because they tend to see them as good natured, happy, and without problems the men are supposed to solve. Women like men who smile because it indicates warmth, a kindness and even strength that communicates the ability to solve problems and appreciate closeness.
If you fake a smile, force a smile, or generally smile with a thought behind the smile that is accusing or condemning it will show and telegraph to your date: “I don’t like you.”
So fill you mind with the respect and appreciation you have for life, and let it shine through your eyes right to your sassy lips. You never know, by the end of the evening, standing outside your door, it may pay off in spades!
When it’s time to start dating again
You are happily single, successful in your career; your life is full of excitement, meetings and journeys. Sometimes you may feel a little lonely and you would like someone to talk to about your future plans or sharing your aha-moments. For the most part, life is good but it would be great to have a little romance in your life, and twice a year sex just isn’t cutting it anymore.
Maybe you have something in common with Sarah. She got divorced after 15 years of a stable (or so she thought) family life. Here she is, back in a dating scene.
Or, how about my friend Jennifer? She is a 48 year old single mom who devoted all her time and energy to raise her children. Now, they are grown and she’s got some time for herself. Finally she can bring someone else into her life, who won’t need to be called a step-father, and skip all kinds of uncomfortable ramifications.
These gals, and plenty more singles like you, started thinking about the possibility of bringing some masculine energy into the house. Of course, it means sacrificing some of your established daily routine and trying to live with someone else’s bad habits.
Let’s not go crazy here! There is some work to do.
Just because you feel a little “frisky,” doesn’t mean you are ready for a date. A date means:
- Going places to meet men. Where to go to meet new people?
- Maybe using an online service and writing a profile. How do you create an online profile that will help you to stand out and blitz out the best competition?
- Dressing like you mean to date. What to wear and what to talk about on a first date?
- Maybe using a matchmaking service and skipping the online profile. Which matchmaking service is worth to pay for?
This is why I started this series of blogs, specially designed for people who are re-entering a dating scene. I will provide a plethora of information about services and places that will help you to have great dates.
Stick with me- together we will do some advance date planning, and not only will you have a great date – you will have a great experience.
If a Valentine Day always takes you by surprise, and tomorrow is Feb 14th, don’t panic, you can still pick up a perfect Valentine’s gift.
Don’t spend hours searching! I have 15 great picks sure to bring a valentines smile to anyone’s face.
Wherever you are –there is a store near you with a solution. I have listed them in Alphabetical order.
1. BLOCKBUSTER/ROGERS VIDEO has a selection of his or her favourite TV series.
2. CHAPTERS or AMAZON.COM: Look in the books on love and relationships, or love poems.
They also have big selection of interesting gifts.
3. HEALTH STORE or ESSENTS or SAGE: Pick up some Essential Oils and an oil burner. Rose or Jasmine is lovely, and they have some blends to stir up sensuous arousal.
4. HOME DEPOT has a section, far from the cashier, where you can buy an orchid or another living flower in a pot, wrapped and ready to present for Valentine’s Day.
5. GROCERY STORES usually sell flowers as well. Or buy the groceries, cook a dinner, light some candles, open the champagne – very romantic!
6. LIQUOR STORE. Good wine or champagne to celebrate this special day. (Better to bring a nice bottle of wine than a cheap champagne).
7. LONDON DRUGS/SHOPPERS DRUG MART has selection of chocolates and candies.
– Or go to the cosmetic counter and buy a gift card for brand cosmetics. If you have a good picture of you both, you can order them online and they will print photos for you. Regular photos take only a couple of hours to complete. They send you e-mail saying that your order is ready to pick up. Order them here. You can get a romantic card there too.
8. MICHAELS CRAFT STORE. She might appreciate artificial silk flowers. They are brighter, bigger and will last forever. Try they have huge selection of them. But take note, women who love fresh flowers tend to shy away from the artificial. If she loves to paint or craft some supplies in a lovely gift bag, (which you can buy there too!) will delight her senses. Check Michaels store website for locations.
9. PURDY’S CHOCOLATE SHOP /DEATH BY CHOCOLATE – of course chocolate or her favourite candy.
10. SAFEWAY has huge selection of different gift cards for various stores or gift certificates. Or buy bouquet of flowers or a bouquet of helium balloons. The flowers don’t have to be expensive. According to SmartMoney article “Valentine’s Day War of the Roses,” by Kelli B. Grant, you can also buy shorter-stemmed roses, roses of different colors or other flowers. If she really likes long stem roses, buy a single, long-stemmed rose, it’s a still romantic.
11. If you want to really surprise her with comfort, send her to SPA UTOPIA for a massage or pedicure or pedicure and manicure combination. She will enjoy a steam bath and free food to nibble on and wine to sip while she is pampered and made to feel like a queen. They have cards or you can call ahead if you are short on time and they will keep record until she comes in with the order as PAID.
12. TOYS’Я’ US.
A board game, if he likes them.
13. WINNERS, HOME SENSE, THE BAY, SEARS, ZELLERS, HAIR SALON, PURE NAIL BAR Gift certificates.
14. If you at home and you have COMPUTER with internet connection, you can buy gifts right away if they are in a digital format. You can download Apple iTunes music immediately to your e-mail.
15. You can make your own GIFT CERTIFICATE – for massage, grocery shopping, homemade dinner, etc. Anything what he or she was bugging you about for a long time but you never had it done. Make them happy!
You are a lucky one – you have someone you care about. Don’t let the day get away without showing it!
It’s time to get playful. In today’s world women are responsible for careers, fit bodies, family obligations, and social commitments. It’s all to serious, and we forget to play, to be fanciful in our hearts, to flirt and have some fun.
Flirting is considered taboo for the modern businesswoman. With all the conditioned ideas that we can’t have a relationship with anyone we work with, for, around, or in passing – we have become serious and too grown up. The little girl inside that likes boys – is buried.
Most little girls have a wonderful natural flirtation – it’s feminine energy untamed. And frankly women, we need some!
Start with the eyes!
This is the first and the most effective way to say ‘I like you’.
Let’s pretend that you are at the bar/party/etc. and there he is. He is talking to his friends but observing the room from time to time, showing that he is ‘looking’.
Position yourself where you can catch his eye naturally and easily or at least get within eye shot of him. You can adjust your head and body, you can find a way to pass him and make an eye- contact.
Give him a few glances. After you catch each others glance, look away, but after a while look at him again, gaze for a moment, then immediately avert your eyes. If you still like what you see, do this again and then add a smile.
Practice at home – the teasing look, the mock innocent, the mischievous glance, etc. Then practice with men. (Be picky though, you deserve the best!)
Business people know this secret.
Realtors practice this secret.
Smart dress shops and jewelry stores use this secret.
In fact, by using this secret in your dating life you will stand out from the crowd.
After your first date, find a lovely card – a paper one, and use the old-fashioned snail mail, and send it to your new friend. Tell them how wonderful it was and how you anticipate seeing them again. Keep it short and sweet. Don’t close with Love, George, but do be warm and friendly.
If you really want to knock her off her feet, don’t send the card after the date, send it before the next one. Tell her if this second (or fifth etc…) is anything like the first, you can’t wait for Saturday night to arrive.
Who wouldn’t get a lift in their day if they were reminded that a new dating partner is thinking of them, and enough of them to go to the trouble of choosing and sending a card.
E- Card versus Good Old Snail Mail
Everyone sends e-cards today and they don’t take much effort. Like the restaurant that goes out of their way to provide above average service, be the date that goes the extra mile.
So how do you get their mailing address? You can look them up on the internet, or the phone book, and if all else fails, tell them you would like to send them something and come right out and ask for it. If you find you do need to ask, I would wait until after a few dates so that you don’t scare them away with the threat of a “stalker.”
What Kind of Card to Buy
You can always buy a funny card that mentions something you two laughed about when you were together. Or if she loves cats, a cat card: if he digs trucks, a truck card. Just don’t buy an overly romantic card full of deep thoughts and overdone sentiment, at least not at the beginning.
It will be kind and thoughtful enough that you sent the card in the first place. One key point to CHARISMA – you don’t beg for attention. You just attract it.
What Other Reasons Could You Use to Send a Card?
Maybe you are not comfortable right off the bat to send a greeting card. No problem, wait for as long as you need to, but when you are ready here are some touch points you could use:
1. Congrats! On their job performance, their grade, a family accomplishment, the birth of their puppy.
2. Thanks! For the dinner, the meal you cooked, the smile you bring to my face, the way I feel when I think of you, etc…
3. Let’s Go – Suggest in a card different kinds of dates you are thinking of and ask them to return the postage paid envelope with their top picks, and any additional items they would like to suggest.
Since the days of the great poets writers have wooed their lovers with words that stirred and ignited the souls and passions of the other. You could start with, “Thanks for being wonderful you. Don’t change!”
Here is one place I tried to order the card for my Valentine: GreetQ.com I like the design of the cards, they are a bit feminine, but perfect if you send it to a woman. They ship to internationally. Cost about $4 including shipping.
Why do you do this every year? With Valentines around the corner, here you are waiting until the last minute, then rushing to the store to get her a usual set of chocolates in a heart shaped box and/or flowers for your last minute valentine gift. Of course, she will gracefully accept your standard gift but ~
Why don’t you try to do something different this time?
Something that she will remember for years, may be forever? Gifts don’t need to be expensive. Women give really high marks for the actual thought and effort a man put into the V-day (or any day) present.
Do your homework first
Snoop around and notice her tastes. Make mental notes of her priorities. What color does she favour? Does she enjoy a lot of photographs around her home, on her desk or wall? Where does she like to shop? What music does she listen to in her car or on her Nano? Does she like teckie gadgets? Are fresh flowers gracing her table? Use what you find to help you choose a romantic gift idea.
1. IF SHE LIKES TO HAVE PHOTOS. If you have a good picture of you both, London Drugs for instance can print photos for you. But you don’t need to print on paper – you can print a calendar, put your pictures on a mug, on a t-shirt, on a mouse pad, make a puzzle or buy her a Jewel Box with your picture on it. You can even order them online and pick it up later. Processing time depends on the product, and in my experience, regular photos take only a couple of hours to complete. They send you e-mail saying that your order is ready to pick up (a great idea if you have the time – not so good for the last minute gift idea)
2. IF SHE LIKES FLOWERS. Maybe she will appreciate artificial silk flowers? They are brighter, bigger and will last forever. Try Michaels craft store, they have huge selection of them. But take note, women who love fresh flowers tend to shy away from the artificial.
3. IF SHE IS INTO MOVIES. I was so happy to get a full set of ‘Friends’ TV series from my friend. He knew I watched it whenever it was on TV. What made it special is that he noticed and took initiative.If you like to plan ahead, get her a pass to Vancouver Film Festival, which takes place in Fall. Or can take her for an outdoor movie.
4. IF SHE LIKES TRYING NEW FOOD. Take her to a restaurant of international cuisine – Afghan, Russian, Balkan, etc. I would suggest a Google research on the menus.
5. IF SHE IS INTO MUSIC. Buy her a gift card for iTunes. Or get her season tickets for Vancouver Symphony Orchestra.
6. IF SHE LIKES HOME MADE GIFTS And you are a handy man, make a cutting board from a piece of wood (they have great selection in Home Depot); if you are an artist – write a poem or a song. You can find a selection online of Valentine day poems as a source for creative you.
7. IF SHE IS INTO SELF-HELP, find her favourite authors or buy tickets to a local event.
8. IF SHE IS INTO BOOKS. Besides Chapters Gift Card, you can take her to Banyen books, let her spend some time looking and buying and then go for coffee across the street.
9. IF YOU RAN OUT OF IDEAS Gift Cards or Gift Certificate are your best bet. My standard cards on my wish list on any Holiday are Winners, Home Sense, and The Bay. These stores have a great selection and wont’ restrict her in her choice. A Gift Certificate for any SPA a nail salon or a hair salon are great ideas too.
10. IF YOU STILL HAVE NO IDEA what she likes, buy anything for her house – a nice candle or coasters, bubble bath or nice soap (Lush has a great selection); anything for her works/studying ; anything for her living room. OF course, it’s a rare woman who will turn down chocolate.
Women like surprises! Let her discover flowers and a present at her bed in the morning, like Santa does on Christmas.
Make this a day you let down your guard and romance her like a princess. Who knows, you may love the feelings you feel and the light in her eyes.
Dating Advice 101 – If you Find Yourself You Will Find the One
Little did they know that once they connected within themselves, finding the right person to compliment what was already “going on” inside, was much easier than they thought.
It’s the Attractor Factor
“Chemistry” between two individuals is often surprising. Although you will find it helpful to write down “who” you are looking to attract, when they arrive they often wear a different appearance or lifestyle than you may expect.
What draws you together is an intangible knowing, a wandering curiosity, a physical yearning. You may think you need a blond bombshell from California only to find out the redhead that works 3 streets east of your office is the dynamite to set you world on fire.
The actual search is over. You no longer need to hunt.
You are on a collision course with a person ready to love you and be loved by you.
Our job is to find out how to be so in tune with our own resonance, that the frequency is heard loud and clear by our lover, and they come running. Sometimes it takes patience though, your lover is being prepared – and things of the heart can take some time.
The Dating Coach,
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The Dating Coach Mantra – “Find Yourself- Find the One”
The road to finding a rich and fulfilling love relationship often seems littered with broken promises, dreams that lost their luster years ago, out-of-date wives tails, and too many failed diets. As a relationship coach, I have heard scores of broken-hearted stories.
Many professional singles have resorted to “quick pics” online or in a 3 minute orchestrated interview at a downtown lounge. Looking for someone else it’s easy to miss the vital truth: if you find yourself – you will find the one.
Dating Advice 101
The premise of my relationship coaching is this: You won’t find the one – until you find yourself.
No one can be for you, what only you can be and become. It’s an inside job.
This journey to your core, to knowing yourself and enjoying your own friendship and inner fire, is an adventure of self-discovery. You become aware of yourself in ways you never dreamed possible, and with that revelation, you become aware of your world.
You don’t need a man to bring you flowers to fall in love; you only need a rosebush on your walk to work to remind you that the entire universe is in love with you, as you love yourself.
Find Yourself: A lifelong exploration and source of endless joy, insight and personal satisfaction.
And before you know it, while you forgot to think about it, the law of attraction that magnetically attracts to yourself more of what you are, begins to parade potential partners before your eyes!
Find Yourself- Find the One,