Learn Small Talk – Part #2
This is Part #2 of “8 Tips for Making a Great Impression” Read Part #1
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8 Tips for Making a Great Impression – Part #1
8 Tips for Making a Great Impression
You are making a first impression on people every day. Even those who see us on a daily basis are forming opinions about our intelligence, expertise and character, based on how we look. Rightly or not, you telegraph who you are by how you present yourself.
The pace of our modern society delivers so many messages each minute that we rely on quick, sometimes instant, judgments. It may seem shallow, or even cruel, but human beings rely on instinct to guide their primal decisions. How you look is a catalyst to the proverbial “you never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
What’s Your Radar saying?
The shoe fits on almost every foot. It’s not just others making snap judgments about you; you are quickly gathering information the first time you meet someone. You look for their gender, age, nationality and social status. You can recognize a confident person by straight posture, strong walk and open look. Each of us uses our sixth sense to determine if the newcomer is trustworthy, a leader or follower, educated or street smart.
How to get noticed?
It’s important to make a good first impression in many areas of our life – job interviews, social networking meetings, a first date, or meeting with a client.
We are attracted to people who radiate happiness and success and avoid those who are insecure in their behavior. A friendly smile, assured confidence, and stylish attire goes a long way. If people trust you they want to continue business with you.
Do you offer people you meet an honest impression of your strengths and abilities? Do they have a chance to see your potential, your experience, and your inner stamina? Or do you portray a person who is just to tired to care, to lazy to work at anything, to jaded to give a damn.
What makes a first impression?
A first impression is made up from 3 types of communication
• verbal (what you are saying)
• audio (how you are talking)
• and visual (how you look).
All these communication channels need integrity and congruity. People see you, no matter how hard you try to present a different picture. Have the courage to allow what’s in you, to be clearly seen.
Although a wise human being will give you an open slate on the second and third encounter, few humans possess expansive wisdom. The first impression is nearly impossible to change, making a first encounter a certain impact. We have only a minute to make an impression but it will affect our relationship for years to come.
What watch for to get the first impression right
1. Your voice
Record yourself to get an idea about your voice. Imagine yourself in different situations – a conversation with your friends, giving a speech, talking to a client or on a steamy date. Do you like the timbre and flow of your voice? Can you hear the pace and rhythm of your speech? It’s easy to change with just a bit of effort and discipline.
You can improve your voice by singing scales, or your favorite songs. You might want to give it a try in the shower – it sounds so much better and usually improves your mood! You can do the ‘tarzan’ exercise – tap yourself to the chest and shout AAAAA. It helps to get rid of squeaky notes and makes your voice strong and confident.
2. Work the Mirror.
People who stand tall, smile brightly, make eye contact and greet us with a firm handshake project confidence and encourage others to feel at ease.
Confidence helps us to initiate or participate in a conversation. Of course, confidence comes from the inside out, and you can’t fake it. But you can use body language to trigger a more confident you.
You can ‘make’ yourself be confident. Go to the mirror and practice:
- Good posture, don’t slouch, sit or stand up straight, feel your body stretch from your feet to the crown of your head. Be present. Be sure. Be yourself.
- Open your body language – uncross everything – your arms and legs.
- Smile – even if it feels fake – do it until you feel alive.
- Make eye to eye contact – show others you care about them, that you are interested in what they have to say and who they are.
Mirror, mirror on the wall: practice looking at yourself. Don’t shy away. Look deeply in your own eyes. Practice smiling. Find a look that feels right to you, and practice a few minutes a day in front of the mirror, until you present that look quite naturally.
STOP Dating and START Attracting WORKSHOP
When: Monday, September 27th, 2010
Where: 616-736 Granville St., Vancouver, BC
Time: 7pm – 9pm
$35
STOP the search and start attracting what you want, in life and in relationships. Love is not difficult to find. Most likely, it is looking for you! You don’t have to spend years waiting for a perfect person. You are the perfect person!
Get clear on what you want from life and what you have to offer. Learn who you are towards yourself and how attractive you are as a partner.
It’s a magnetic effect: Like attracts like, this is why it’s very important to find out what is great and unique about you, and what a fantastic individual you are, so you can attract the person like yourself.
During this workshop you will
• Find out how attractive are YOU as a partner
• Learn how to enjoy life: Single or not!
• Improve your Self-confidence and Happiness
• Tap into your life goals through Future Self-Visualization.
• Find your unique Charisma
• Start attracting your best matches and send out the “NO GO” message to the rest!
Leave this workshop with your Attractor Factor working FOR you!
Get Rid of Negative Beliefs and Meet the One
Get rid of negative beliefs and meet the One
“I know what I want. I am ready to meet the One. But why it takes so long to meet that person? “
As a relationship coach, I have heard this question so many times. We all have many roadblocks that prevent us from getting what we want. And many ‘external’ circumstances that we think are in the way are not actually external – it’s still our mind (beliefs) that limits us! “Circumstances may cause a detour in your life but we still have control of our direction.”
SEX UP YOUR PERSONAL STYLE STATEMENT
Sex Up Your Personal Style Statement
When: Thu, Sep 30th
7pm – 10pmWhere: Serai Social Club
1660 Cypress Street
Vancouver, BC V6J 5J1
604.734.1660
Attract women with confidence.
Attract women with confidence
There were no “pick up” lines suggested at the Dating Mastery Seminar that I attended last week.
Some time ago Stefan Pylarinos, the executive coach at Lifestyle Transformations (a dating service for men teaching them how to meet and interact with women in Vancouver) contacted me and asked if any of my clients could be interested in their service.
When I said that I would not recommend him unless I knew what they offered, he suggested that I ‘just come and see yourself.”
WOW… what an experience!
It took some courage to go and sit in a classroom with 15 guys, who came to learn about women and dating techniques. To my surprise I didn’t really need my courage – the attendees hardly noticed my presence.
They were busy learning how to develop the ‘core dominance and assertiveness’ that all women are looking for, how to be yourself with women, how to overcome fears and approach the opposite sex anytime anywhere, and how they could meet 100+ women in one night!
Have you ever watched a living room full of guys watching the Stanley cup playoffs – final game, and in overtime? The energy in the room was similar – I was in unfamiliar territory – watching the guys jumping out of their chairs, yelling and bouncing the ideas around.
What impressed me the most is, when they stated their philosophy, the first line that was listed was “adore and respect women.”
The presenter, Cheyenne Kamran, the author of their innovative content and teaching methods, puts the energy to 10 in the first few seconds after he entered the room. Right away he developed trust from the audience.
Knowing the laid back attitude of the West coast, I was surprised to see that dynamic atmosphere, the integrity and the high level of the professionalism that was offered.
Usually I am skeptical when I read the selling lines of the description to workshops. These guys however, delivered pretty much everything they predicted, even their promise to “skyrocket your confidence in a matter of seconds”. I saw it happen!
They didn’t waste time with group introductions; the training started right from the beginning, very interactive, with smart friendly humor. They taught useful information packed with great tips.
They addressed the principle issues – not just “how to get a date,” but an understanding and behaving from the the masculine core of a man.
For a shy guy with a fear of rejection and a dateless life, the goal is to have fun and enjoy meeting as many women as they wanted, before they settle down in a serious relationship with the right woman. I watched, while they learned how to do it.
I recommend the workshop to men wanting to develop their dating life with a goal to meet the woman who ends the search once and for all.
Social Events with Vancouver Single Professionals
Hey, People-Who-mix-Business-and-Pleasure!
After our first Social at Serai, I talked to some people and we collectively agreed that we like Serai as a place for our social gatherings. It seems it’s an appropriate place for our group meetups.
So, starting in September, we are going to have regular meetings at that friendly social club. Every last THURSDAY of each month is reserved for Vancouver Single Professionals!
Of course, we will have other occasional meetings (wine tours, picnics, art gallery tours, etc.), but I would like to spend more time in making our social gatherings more productive and valuable to everyone.
As part of this plan, I am going to invite different guests speakers to our meetings, who would give us some tips and insights in different areas: dating, communication, positive change…. and of course, business development.
FIND RELATIONSHIPS THAT WORK: Discover Your Relationship DNA WORKSHOP
When: Thursday, September 16th, 2010
Where: 616-736 Granville St., Vancouver, BC
Time: 7pm – 9pm
$35
Your Relationship DNA
Your Relationship DNA
Still looking for the “great guy” your mom always wanted you to find? Wondering where you will find the “goddess of your dreams” who will love you for who you are?
Look no further! Quit searching. Cease your online shopping and snooping.
Until you re-create your internal sensors, you will most likely continue to attract the same selfish, lying, boring, sleepy, unfaithful, uncaring, inconsiderate, sexually stale, physically lazy, financially scalped and playfully challenged individuals you have always attracted. It’s in your Relationship DNA!
Relationship DNA
Your relationships are made up of what you consciously consider about a partner and what you subconsciously consider about yourself and the messages those thoughts communicate to others.
Like DNA, they are weaved together, and often what you don’t realize that what you want or crave for your own emotional wellbeing – is exactly what you are attracting!
So it won’t matter how many different guys you date, or how many different sites or services you try to find the right woman – until you know your own hidden agendas, you will – WITHOUT FAIL – continue to attract people into your life that will disappoint or hurt you.
Is There Something Wrong With Me?
No.
You have a unique history, life experience, family, and community of friends and influencers that have helped you become your distinct person. Along the way, you may have learned things by trial and error and not all your influences were positive. Typically we develop ways to overcompensate or avoid situations we find uncomfortable or even painful. These hidden mannerisms and fears are the very triggers that signal the same individuals to show up in your world, usually the people poorly suited to your conscious goals and romantic dreams.
It’s strange. The same personality types show up in different clothing, careers, towns, and social circles. They may present themselves quite different at the beginning of your friendship and yet, before long, you find yourself with the same hurts, same wounds, and the identical feeling of disappointment.
Your Emotional Life
We all need the emotional support of others. The expressions may vary, and the level of need fluctuate, but no one lives a healthy life without emotional connections.
If those emotional needs were somehow overlooked, neglected or poorly satisfied in your childhood, you will search for what you need – whether consciously or not. Some people appear “needy,” or “sensitive” or “aloof” as adults because for whatever reason they are lacking some of the emotional maturity that can start only from within themselves.
When we are looking for a partner from the place of what we ‘need’ instead of what we ‘want’, we might choose destructive relationships over and over again till we learn that happiness and contentment is an inside job. A partner should help us but we should help ourselves first.
Our unhealthy patterns will remain until we replace them with healthy ones.
What is your Dating Motivation?
What is your Dating Motivation?
Why do you date? The answer might seem obvious: for sex, for fun, for happier weekends, to impress my friends, to avoid loneliness, or to feel wanted. Your dating motivation will have a lot to do with your dating experiences and outcomes.
Sometimes we confuse what we want and what we need.
When we are looking for something or someone to fill our needs, we are not very picky. We just look to get the need met.
