Get Rid of Negative Beliefs and Meet the One
Get rid of negative beliefs and meet the One
As a relationship coach, I have heard this question so many times. We all have many roadblocks that prevent us from getting what we want. And many ‘external’ circumstances that we think are in the way are not actually external – it’s still our mind (beliefs) that limits us! “Circumstances may cause a detour in your life but we still have control of our direction.”
Does your belief system need a check up?
We learn about relationship dynamics from our parents, siblings and friends when we are young. We absorb the relationship patterns, healthy or not, that existed in our families and builds our own belief systems.
False believes and fears that might exist in our culture also create limitations and destructive thinking.
Later, our own experiences – break ups, job loss or other ‘failures’ – solidify our beliefs and they become responsible for our choices.
Our false beliefs about ourselves: lead to lack of self-confidence, lack of energy, desperation and hopelessness.
• I am not smart enough to take this job,
• I will never be able to breakthrough financially
• There is no relationship without a supreme sacrifice
If you think that all good single men and women are taken, it is true for you.
In your world it is your reality and you think and act accordingly to this belief. This thought would influence your dating and relationship life: your behaviour, your judgments and your choices. It certainly affects your openness.
As a result you might get what you expected. Then, after this belief is reinforced you might settle for less than what you wanted. Or you might still be waiting for a magic moment when your Mr. or Ms. Rights finds you and will be able to see a ‘real you’ despite of your negative attitude. Good luck!
Exercise: What are your relationship beliefs that might hold you back from getting in fulfilling relationship?
– I will be happier and more fulfilled when I am in a relationship – my partner is my second half, right?
– When I meet a right partner, I won’t have to work on my relationship and it will last forever
– If you work on your relationship everything will be alright
– It’s difficult to meet quality singles
– I have a tendency to attract partners who don’t treat me as I deserve
– I think people are disappointed at our first date
– I don’t think I should work on finding a partner, I will meet the One some day
– It’s disrespectful to be taken care of
– It’s all the number game, the more people I meet the better chance I have to meet my match
– All the partner I meet drain me – emotionally or financially
– I can’t show my true self, people won’t like real me
– Other people have a better chance to meet a good partner than I am
– I don’t communicate well
– Sometimes I feel I would never find a good partner
– At my age I can’t affords to spend time in search for a soul mate
– Being alone means being lonely
– I know exactly what I want but there are not many people who are up to my standards
– I am afraid that after a while my partner will see my flaws and will like me less
– My life will be much happier if I had a partner to share my activities with
– Other people are more desirable partners to the opposite sex
– The partners whom I am usually interested in, would never be interested in me
– I don’t believe in soul mates and I should settle down when I meet a more of less suitable candidate
– It’s not possible to meet a good person because the are all taken
– I won’t be able to meet a desirable partner in the area that I live
– I am not the best desirable partner
– It’s natural for people to be in a relationship
– I don’t think I should be open with people, they usually hurt me
– You can’t build a strong relationship without a sacrifice
– It’s not possible to remain friends with past partners
– It’s more satisfying to be in a relationship than to be alone
– Opposites attract
– I had to work harder on relationship than all my previous partners