How to find the perfect partner

how to chose perfect partnerHow hard it is to find the perfect partner?

The online dating websites save time by offering to weed out candidates using our specific criteria in order to present qualified profiles from the first contact. This can be a terrific tool IF ALL of the good intelligent people are proficient written communicators.  Some profiles say too little; some say too much. Some men seem too “intelligent,” while others might scare potential candidates with too many restrictions. Women may introduce themselves as such independent happy people that it is hard to imagine how you would fit into their lives.

Online dating is about presentation and intellectual (mental, logical) connections. Without sampling the physical chemistry, we often miss our opportunities to meet a good match.

Too Many Photos – Too Many Choices

By looking at scores of photos at one time we can numb ourselves to the unique and interesting character in an individual’s appearance.  It’s easy to forget that often it’s the uniqueness of a person, in appearance and personality that we often learn to love and find most endearing for years to come.  Unfortunately, with the mouse in hand, we can click through page after page of photos in minutes without noticing the glint in his eye or the natural curl to her hair.  We could be just too darn picky!

Pre-Arranged Marriage – Is It a Trap or a Privilege?

In some countries with strong traditions they still practice pre-arranged marriages. Oddly enough, even though the laws have changed and divorce is permitted, often these couples who learned to love remain so for a lifetime. Looking at our own parent’s and grandparents’ relationships, it’s not unusual that couples celebrate their 25, 40 or even 70 years together.

They may not a perfect match to each other, but they work hard on their relationships. They work with what they have; they focus on positive points and try to find compromises. In the process, they grow as individuals – learning the beauty of give and receive.

Freedom to Choose

There is nothing wrong with more freedom that enables us to choose a partner. We are able to meet a person who shares our goals and values and with whom we are compatible on many levels. It seems a shame that after being single for some time, we become so comfortable with our own space, that we are able to reject those who are not good looking enough, not financially successful enough, not intelligent enough, etc.

We limit ourselves and miss our soul mates.  We have so many demands and expectations.

We look for what we can get ask instead of offering what we have.

Exercise: Continue the list of your qualities vs. the qualities of a desirable partner. For example:

Qualities I am looking in a partner – My qualities as a partner:

  • financially secure  –  I have a stable job or career
  • has a sense of humour – I am fun to be around
  • physically fit – I am in a good shape
  • caring and generous – I do care about other people
  • has positive attitude – I am positive and happy
  • good good conversationalist  – I am able to communicate well
  • listener – I am able to listen attentively
  • ______________________________________________
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