Why I am still single?

speed-dating event

Photo: Supercon Conventions via Flickr

Why I am still single?

Did you know the single population is now equal to married couples in North America? It’s a 50/50 split, and many singles would like to change the stats. Of course, there are lot of single people who are ‘not looking,” but most of us would like to be in a relationship.

If you are successful in your career, financially secure and take care of yourself, the question is inevitable –then “Why I am still single”?

We have a vast of services that aim to help us to find a special someone
• Thousands of dating websites to find your best match, based on faith, race or social status;
• Matchmaking services that offer personalized attention to our relationship needs;
• Speed dating events, that allow us to meet as many as 50 people within an hour;
• Relationship, dating and seduction coaches offering training ‘on the spot’;
• Numerous blogs on love and relationship issues, podcasts and TV shows.

We Live in A City Made for Dating
Vancouver is known for being a healthy city and we have a lot of options for outdoor sports and activities. It’s not hard to find people to share your interests. If you go to Meetup.com you will find hundreds of hiking, camping, or yoga MeetUp groups with like-minded people.

There is no lack of social events where you can meet people who share your passion for music or food or dancing.

So, it looks like we don’t have a problem with the number of singles available

Or the potential to meet them;

And we also have all these services that aim to help people to find each other.

The Billion Dollar Question

So how come there are so many people who are still single? Why it’s so hard to find that special person?

The dating services tell us about their ‘secret’ to meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right: that meeting that special person is all a numbers game.

Well of course, the chances of meeting that person decrease dramatically if you don’t go out and don’t surround yourself with like-minded people.

Do we really increase the odds of meeting “The One” by increasing the number of people we meet?

Meet the RIGHT People
Something is not working. Despite the opportunities, we have a society full of single people wishing they could find the right person. Perhaps there is more to the equation than a numbers game.

When I studied marketing for my business, they stressed how important it was to KNOW your customer before you ever had one. We wrote a profile, included a photo and described who was our customer; where they ate, what they drove, who they worked for. It was essential to know who our customer was so we could be clear and not spend our dollars marketing to who our customer WAS NOT.

You will be far more successful meeting the right person, if you clarify in your own mind, who is and who is not the right energy, or character or personality for you.
Here are a few exercises to help you determine your true partner:

Exercise #1 – Are you meeting the right people?
• List 5 most important qualities you are looking in a partner for (positive, understanding, shares my interests, has the same financial position, able to maintain intelligent conversation, etc.)
• Think of 5 people you have dated or had a relationship with and rate from 0 to 10 of how much they possessed these qualities
• Are you meeting the right people?

Exercise#2 – What are your dating patterns?
• Divide a sheet of paper into two columns. On the left side list 5 most important qualities you are looking in a partner for (positive, understanding, shares my interests, has the same financial position, able to maintain intelligent conversation, etc.)
• On the right side list 5 places where you meet new people (work, volunteering, bars, friends’ parties)
• Are you able to meet the type of person that you are looking for at those places?

Exercise #3 – Where do you meet people?
1. How do you meet new men/women? List at least 5 places where you meet them. Think back over a few month(s) for answers.

Places you meet new people
a. ________________________________________________________
b. ________________________________________________________
c. ________________________________________________________
d. ________________________________________________________
f. ________________________________________________________

2. Think of the types of people you are meeting at those places. Are you attracted to these types of men/women?

3. Write down 5 places that you think would be ideal to meet a potential partner. It could be anywhere you want; nothing you list is wrong. If you would want to meet and talk to them at a bar, then write it down. If you want to meet them at a museum, then this would be one of your answers. Remember, think of a person who you have found to be attractive and try to recall where you’ve seen them.

Places where I want to meet a potential partner
a. ________________________________________________________
b. ________________________________________________________
c. ________________________________________________________
d. ________________________________________________________
f. ________________________________________________________

4. Compare two lists. Are they different?

Get Serious!


If you are serious about building a healthy, sensual, and satisfying relationship with someone, invest the time in yourself to do exercises, or read a book or two and apply new ideas to your thoughts and actions.

Many people have found love. I am one of them. You can do it too. Don’t give up – get ready!

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